Incoming Fighters
by nici-kitty
Summary: Revan's stuffed up big time. Now Bastila's been captured, Carth hates her, Canderous is grumpy and Jolee's high on stims. ...Not to mention the fact that her bad aim is putting the team in danger. Life is rough.


**Typed this ages ago. Set between the Leviathan and the final Star Map (Korriban). F!Revan, a little OOC. I apologize for this, and any other inaccuracies, particularly in the Mando'a. Based on those parts of the game where you have to go to the turret and shoot... I really hated those parts.  
**

**Slight canonical inaccuracy- **In the game it was a disruptor field that made them crash, but... for the purposes of humour, it could have been Revan's bad aiming skills XD

**DISCLAIMER: I owneth not KOTOR.**

* * *

"Incoming Fighters. I can't shake them off. Someone needs to get to the gun turret."

As there was no one else in the cockpit except for her, Revan assumed that she was said 'someone'. With an exasperated sigh, she stood up and prodded Carth's shoulder. "Can't you go? You remember what happened when we were leaving Taris..."

"Stop poking me." he said, swatting her away. "Haven't you been practicing on the simulation with HK?"

"We-ell..." she flushed. "I did it once, failed _miserably_, and then he called me a meatbag. And then I got too busy to try a second time- hey!" she stumbled as the Ebon Hawk tilted suddenly. "Aren't you meant to be the Republic's best pilot?"

"I am, but I'm _trying-_" Carth broke off and tilted the starship the other way, making Revan clutch at the back of his seat to regain her balance. "Look, just go shoot them down before they hit something important!" he glanced at a flashing red light on the console in front of him. "If they haven't already..."

"Can't you do it?" Revan asked, sliding into the seat next to him. "I can hold the fort here while you shoot them..."

"Oh you can, can you?" Carth asked. Revan glanced at the numerous buttons and gears in front of her. Needless to say, she had no idea what any of them did. Another red light began to flash. Carth glared at her from beneath furrowed brows. "Get. Moving!"

He sounded at the end of his tether. Revan decided that he was under stress from the recent loss of Bastila (who also happened to be the co-pilot) and the most sensible thing to do would be obey. Sighing a second time, she got up and headed for the gun turret, making her way through the main room as she did so. The others were clustered around the table.

"Hey! What's going on?" Mission asked. "I thought we were free of the Leviathan!"

"Sith fighters coming after us. I'm on my way to the gun turret now." Revan explained. The ship dipped sideways at a precarious angle, sending T3-M4 sliding across the room with a scream. Revan hurriedly headed for the turret and slid in front of the controls, slamming the hatch shut behind her. Glancing at the radar, she saw six blinking red dots, circling around her.

BAM! She shot at one, and missed. After muttering a few explicit words she'd learnt from Canderous after he stubbed his toe, she aimed the turret. A fighter flew past.

BAM! Missed again.

The turret rocked as it was hit by a wave of blaster fire from the fighters.

BAM! BAM! BAM! She hit one and whooped as it exploded in a flash of light.

_One down, five to go._

An alarm was blaring somewhere. She glanced at the damage meter, which was looking dangerously red. Carth's voice crackled over the intercom. "Revan? We're taking a lot of damage! What are you doing in there?"

"I'm working on it." she snarled through gritted teeth, attempting to take aim. "They're moving too fast."

BAM! "Missed it by _that much_." she swore. The alarm increased in pitch and volume. Suddenly the hatch swung open behind her, and a firm hand grabbed her by the back of her robe and hauled her out. She was dumped on the deck in a most undignified manner, and Canderous climbed into the turret in her stead.

"That is _no way_ to treat the Dark Lord of the Sith!" Revan yelled in indignation, stressing the capital letters. Someone pulled her to her feet and she turned to see Juhani, who looked very concerned. "Padawan, I thought you were on the light side now."

"I am."

"Therefore it would be more appropriate to say 'former' Dark Lord of the Sith." Juhani blinked her freaky cat-eyes and wandered off. The Ebon Hawk had stopped rocking and the alarms were dying down. Canderous emerged from the turret and dusted his hands off. "Only took me four shots. I got two in one." he looked immensely pleased with himself.

Revan glared at the Mandalorian, embarrassed as well as slightly bruised on her backside. Muttering under her breath, she marched back to the cockpit and slumped down next to Carth.

"You gave me a shock." he said, laughing slightly nervously. "Lucky you got those last five quickly, or we'd have been stuffed."

"Canderous took over." Revan said sourly. Carth stopped laughing, looked rather astonished, and busied himself at the controls. "Heading for Korriban now." After jumping to lightspeed, he got up and stretched. "Uhh. We need to talk about this. Come on." he rubbed the back of his neck and headed out of the cockpit.

"When you say 'about _this_'..." Revan jumped up and followed him. "Is 'this' my bad aim, or is 'this' me being Revan?"

"Uh, your bad aim." Carth said. "We can talk about the you being Revan later..."

"Well, I think my bad aim is your fault." Revan stopped in the middle of the corridor and folded her arms. "Why don't you get one of the others to go to the gun turret? Why do you always choose me?"

"Because you're often closest and most convenient." he said. In Revan's opinion, that was rather a lame excuse. It seemed like he was just picking on her.

"Carth! How badly damaged is the Ebon Hawk?" Canderous asked, coming up to them and staring down at Revan. She stared back up at him.

"That's another matter." Carth said. "We can't afford to keep repairing the Hawk all the time, Revan. These damages caused by your poor aim are expensive to repair."

"Don't worry, we have no shortage of credits." Revan assured him, patting his shoulder. "In fact...I think we've reached 30,000 plus." she beamed, expecting them to look pleased, but they just glanced worriedly at one another.

"Where'd you get that money?" Carth asked. "You didn't sell the Krayt Dragon Pearls, they're still in your lightsaber."

"Uhh...I sold some of our extra ordnance." Revan said. "And all of the lightsabers I collected from those dark Jedi."

"What ordnance?" Canderous growled, looming over her in a rather intimidating way. Revan reminded herself that she could always Force-push him to the other side of the room if he got too angry. "Some grenades Zaalbar made...a lot of spare weapons I picked up on Taris, your blasters-"

"YOU SOLD MY BLASTER?" they both yelled at the same time. Revan nodded. "Yes. You never use them anyway-"

"You sold the Ordo Repeating Blaster? That was a family heirloom!" Canderous was turning an unbecoming shade of red. Dressed in Davik's purple war suit, he bore a striking resemblance to a large and overripe eggplant. "Do you have ANY idea what you just did?"

"Do you know how long it took me to build that?" Carth said angrily. Revan held up her hands defensively. "Hey! Canderous, you always use other weapons anyway! And Carth, you learned feats for two-blade fighting! I don't think I've seen you handle a gun since the Endar Spire!"

"So?"

"So...actually, you did handle a blaster about three hours ago! Remember?" Revan pointed out. "You fired it at Malak, and he rather unceremoniously dumped you on your backside! That is proof that you're more suited to using swords and blades!"

Carth had a rather thunderous expression on his face. "What's wrong with you, Revan? Ever since you found out who you were, you've changed. I hope you don't forget which team you're playing for."

That was _grossly_ unfair, in Revan's opinion, since she'd sold the weapons before she found out her true identity, and her aim had always been less than perfect.

Canderous nudged Carth, pushing him in the direction of the cockpit. "Let's leave this mad woman until she comes to her senses. We'd better find out how much the repairs will cost."

"Who are you calling mad?" Revan yelled in outrage, but they both ignored her. She stood and stamped her foot as they left, muttered to herself, and turned to storm off to her quarters.

"That's a surefire way to get him to like you." a voice dripping with sarcasm drawled from the shadows, making Revan jump. She turned to glare at the old man lurking in the dark corner of the corridor. "Jolee, I told you not to hide around and give me shocks!"

"What?" he emerged from the darkness and looked faintly amused. "That was a very interesting confrontation, heh heh heh..."

"Oh stop sniggering at me." she had little patience with the old coot at the best of times, let alone now when she was in a bad mood. "Get out of my way."

"The youth of today. No manners." he said, sounding vaguely offended. "Are you sure you want to go to your room? Mission's there, she'll ask you to play Pazaak, heh heh."

"Whatever." Revan huffed, folding her arms. "What do you want, anyway?"

"I want to give you some advice." Jolee said. Revan opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "Shush! I'm entitled to act like an old mentor if I want to."

"You _are_ an old mentor."

"_Shush_ I said! I know about love." his eyes were actually glinting. Revan had never seen a glint before, and was rather fascinated. Nevertheless, she interrupted. "Love? I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"Don't think just because I'm old, I'm stupid." he said gruffly. "I'm not blind. I've seen your eye on young Carth."

"Carth is hardly young."

"Everyone's young to me." he said firmly. "I'm happy for you! In the midst of all this sorrow and violence, love can still-"

"Get this into your wrinkled head." Revan said. "I am _not_ in love with Carth." To her horror, she realized she was starting to sound like Mission. That would have to be corrected. One Mission in a tantrum-mood was bad enough.

"Hey! I didn't ask you to insult me! No respect for your elders." Jolee snapped. "Just trying to give some helpful advice!"

"I didn't ask for helpful advice!" Revan shouted back. It felt good to yell at someone. "And...you didn't give advice, anyway! Just dithered on about love!"

"I know it when I see it!" he said. "First hand experience, remember? It's obvious that you're eyeing _someone_ on this ship. I hope it isn't Canderous. He isn't your type."

"No. No." Revan was horrified at the thought. "I am _not_ in love with Canderous." she wondered if the old man was delirious. "Are you high on stims?"

"Of course not." he scoffed. "Mark my words...uhh..." he appeared to be unable to think of any words for Revan to mark, and wandered off, muttering about life support packs. Rather puzzled, she stood in silence for a moment, then stormed off to go polish the swoop bike, although she doubted there would be a track on Korriban.

"Statement: Master, you appear to be in some distress."

Darn. She'd forgotten HK-47 lurked near the swoop bike. "I'm fine, HK. Don't talk to me."

"Compliance: As you wish, master."

Revan polished vigorously, muttering to herself all the while about nothing in particular. Eventually, when her arms were starting to ache, Zaalbar popped his head around the doorway. "Revan?"

"Yeah?" she threw the polishing cloth down and stretched. "We need to talk, actually, Zaalbar. About me being Revan."

"You saved me from the Gamorrean slavers. I swore a lifedebt to you. It doesn't matter if you know your real name and identity now. You're still the same person." Zaalbar said, entering the room. "I will stand by you."

"Thanks Zaalbar." Revan said, feeling considerably reassured now that she knew at least one person was by her side. "Do you think Bastila's okay?"

"I don't know." The Wookie sat down next to her. HK turned his head and eyed him beadily.

"I don't think Malak will kill her." Revan said. "Do you?"

"I don't know." he repeated.

"Anyway." Revan yawned. "Did you want something? What time is it, anyway? What are the others doing?"

He froze a moment, as if trying to process all three questions at once. "It's quite late. Jolee put a lot of salt in the synthesizer in an attempt to get some flavored food. Juhani is trying to get the salt out, because it jammed up the mechanism. Mission is practicing Pazaak, T3-M4 is recharging, Canderous and Carth are in the cockpit still."

"Sulking, probably." Revan said, rather irritated at them.

"I'm waiting for Juhani to fix the machine...there's only bantha fodder in the kitchen cupboards." Zaalbar said mournfully. "I came to check on you. Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" she wondered if Zaalbar was becoming overprotective. Carth had mainly worried about whether she would betray him or not. It was rather nice to have someone concerned about her welfare...even if said someone was a large hairy furball.

"Well, you trekked all over the Manaan sea bed yesterday, got a few hours sleep before we were captured, were tortured, then had to run around fighting, then you fought Malak. You had a big day." he pointed out.

"Oh yeah. That." Revan said rather lamely. "I'm fine...can you ask Canderous to mix some more stims?"

"Alright." he got to his feet, and Revan had to crane her neck to look up at him. "Tell me if you need anything."

It was even nicer to have a large, hairy furball who had sworn to do anything you asked him to.

* * *

Canderous greatly admired Revan as a warrior. She was charismatic, strong in battle, and together with Malak had turned the tide of the war against the Mandalorians. He was honored to be working with her.

He did not admire the fact that she had sold his blaster.

Carth was slumped in his seat, arms folded, eyes narrowed, and apparently sulking. Canderous glanced at him disdainfully. He had no patience with sulkers. Neither man had attempted to gauge the damage done to the Hawk. Instead they'd both slammed the door to the cockpit, sat in their seats and begun cursing Revan in various languages. Canderous had had no idea that Carth could swear fluently in Huttese.

"That was quite a low blow." Canderous said finally, breaking the silence that had settled over them. Carth glanced up with a puzzled expression. "What?"

"What you said to Revan back there." Canderous grunted. "It was rather...unsportsmanlike like. Not very honorable."

He looked down. "Well..."

Canderous watched him beadily, waiting for him to say two dangling bits of hair over Carth's eye were really starting to annoy him. He had half a mind to sneak into Carth's room while the pilot was sleeping and cut them off.

"Well?" the Mandalorian grunted. "You shouldn't have accused her of planning to betray us."

He looked back up, unconsciously moving his head so that the dangling hair swung back. Canderous gritted his teeth and refrained from pulling out his vibroblade and slicing off the offending filaments.

"How do you know she isn't?"

Canderous blinked, so intent on Carth's hair that he almost didn't register the question. "Uhhh."

"Don't you get it? She's _Revan_. You know...the Dark Lord of the Sith, the one who killed thousands of people...thousands of _Mandalorians_..." he stared meaningfully at Canderous.

"She is a _warrior_. I am proud to serve with her." Canderous said. "She won the war for your side."

"Then she turned against us." Carth pointed out. "And at any moment, she could do that again!"

"She doesn't remember being Revan. And even if she did, it wouldn't matter." Canderous said dismissively.

"You Mandalorians." Carth sounded disgusted and angry. "That's all you care about. Proficiency in battle. It doesn't matter how evil or immoral someone is, as long as they're a skilled warrior. You have no morals."

Canderous stiffened and straightened in his seat, glowering down at Carth. "You... _di'kut_!"

"Name calling, are we?" Carth said mildly.

"You and your so abiding loyalty! So what'll you do if Revan _does_ turn against us? Suddenly withdraw your loyalty? Is it something you can switch on and off?"

"My adherence is to the Republic, not to Revan." Carth said sternly. "Not that you'd know anything about loyalty, considering how faithful you were to Davik."

Canderous stood up, fury surging through him. He clenched his fists, refrained from throttling Carth, and marched out of the room, heading in a completely random direction. He found himself in the kitchen, where Juhani had a fork stuck in the synthesizer, and was struggling to pull it out. She looked up at him as he came in.

"I could use a hand, Mandalorian." she said, slightly sourly. Canderous scowled at her. "Go ask one of the others." he marched back out of the room and into his quarters, slamming the door behind him. The doorframe shook in a satisfying way. He snatched up several knives and threw them at the door, they thudded in with a _thwuck_ stuff seemed to make him feel better, so he yanked his arsenal of weapons from beneath the bed and threw some more, finally stopping when he found he had a sonic grenade in his hand.

"Wouldn't do to throw one of those in here." he chuckled to himself, then flung himself on the bed, glancing at the rather battered door. It was hanging slightly off one hinge, and was studded with dents and gouges.

He rather thought it looked better that way.

* * *

Carth sat in the cockpit for a while after Canderous left, tense with anger. He realised he was more mad at himself than at Canderous and Revan, and the realization just ticked him off even more.

It was partly because of Saul, he decided. Killing Saul was meant to make him feel better, so _why didn't it?_ That was the purpose of revenge, wasn't it? He didn't feel whole or justified in any way.

He also wanted to blame Revan. For the war, for Saul's betrayal, for the whole messed up thing that was his life. But it wasn't working so far – he seemed almost physically unable to pin the blame on her.

That just made him even more angry.

Eventually he got bored, and his leg started going to sleep, so he got up. Then, because he wanted to delay going out among the others as long as possible, he took off his armor and put his jerkin on, finger-combed his hair, checked the controls and the ship's course several times, and tidied up the cockpit a bit.

He bumped into Jolee Bindo as soon as he got out the door. The old man almost seemed to be waiting out there for him.

"Just wanted to know how it's going."

Carth blinked. "Uhh. We'll reach Korriban tomorrow. The shields are up, so we'll have ample warning if we're attacked again. We'll probably get a full night's sleep, for a change."

"Good, good." Jolee said. "So, how's it going with Revan, heh heh?"

Carth was taken aback. "Umm, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"You know what I mean." nudge nudge, wink wink. The old man smiled coyly. "Let me give you some advice from an old and experienced man."

"I'm listening..." Carth said uncertainly.

"I once knew a man called Jerik. Sensible kind of chap, lots of good common sense... he ended up on this mission with some other people, one of whom had a bad reputation. They ended up on this planet, a civilized place, and Jerik wasn't sure how they'd be seen as if the bad-reputable guy was with them."

Carth wondered where this was going.

"Anyway, he decided it would be smarter if the guy didn't look like he was with their party. So he said, 'You walk ten paces behind the rest of us.' The guy was a bit put out, didn't know _what_ he'd done to Jerik to make him think like that. The rest of the party was pretty mad about it, so one of them, a normally docile little guy, piped up and said, 'No Jerik. You can walk ten paces ahead!' Heh heh heh!"

"Uhhh." Carth said. Jolee stood there as if waiting for Carth to comment on how exceptionally wise he was. "Well, that's the end of the story."

"Is there meant to be a moral or something?" Carth asked. Jolee deflated and looked rather put out. "Just...think about it a bit." he said, and wandered off.

Carth blinked, then headed towards his own quarters. There was shouting coming from the kitchen, and he carefully avoided the area. As he was heading for the corridor towards the dormitories, he heard footsteps coming the opposite direction.

_Juhani, please let it be Juhani..._ she was the only member of the party not likely to make him stop and talk to them. Except T3 of course, but he didn't have feet.

_You're kidding me_. Someone up there really didn't like him today. Carth stood awkwardly as Revan rounded the corner and also stood awkwardly.

They both stared at each other for a few moments. Revan frowned slightly. Carth also frowned. _If she thinks I'm about to apologize, she's dead wrong. This isn't like the fight we had on Dantooine._

"Are you mad at me?" Revan asked.

The question took him aback. "Uhh-uh." he stuttered, then was disgusted with himself. How inarticulate could he get? "Uhh, maybe." A childish response, but at least he wasn't standing there stammering like a loon.

She took a step closer, and he automatically took a step back, then wished he hadn't. She looked downcast. "Are you mad at me because I didn't answer Saul's questions?"

"What?" he was genuinely astonished.

She looked pained. "So that's it. Well..." she drew herself up to her full height (which was not very much) and stared icily at him. "I guess you don't know me very well then."

He had no idea what she was going on about.

"You always say to put the mission first. That's what I was _doing_. You think I didn't answer him for fun? You think I _enjoyed_ seeing you and Bastila get tortured? I would gladly have suffered it myself if it meant you two didn't have to get hurt!" she was working herself into a real fix now. "You think I-"

"Stop! Calm down!" Carth interrupted. "Of course I'm not angry with you because of that!" he laughed slightly shakily. "You thought I was... no, I'm not angry because you didn't answer Saul's questions. I never expected you to."

"So you _are_ angry then." she only looked slightly pacified.

Carth blinked. "Well...yeah." he rubbed the back of his neck. "Wouldn't _you_ be angry if I sold your lightsaber or something?"

"Nah. I have spares." she said. "About five spares, actually. I just needa change the crystals in the ones I took from Darth Bandon and his men."

"Well I didn't have a spare blaster!" he snapped, starting to get annoyed with her again. "Just forget it. You're right, I _am _better with blades. Are you happy now? I admitted you were right!"

"You _are _angry." she murmured. "Are you mad at me because I'm Revan?"

What was he meant to say to that?

"Uhh-uh. Umm, maybe." _Damn...here I go again._

_

* * *

_Juhani was in a bit of a moral dilemma. She'd gotten the fork out of the synthesizer with a bit of help from Zaalbar and the Force, and Jolee and the Wookie were now happily eating. That was fine.

The Cathar, however, was worried about falling back to the dark side. Severely worried. Can't-sleep-at-night-and-doesn't-feel-like-eating-much worried. She'd been going so well, taking advice from Revan, who'd seemed like the greatest, most light-sided person in the galaxy.

So what was Juhani meant to think now that the person she'd been taking advice from, the person she'd been trusting to keep her away from the darkness, turned out to be the Dark Lord of the Sith?

If anyone knew about redemption, it was Juhani. Revan didn't remember being the Sith Lord, and it certainly didn't seem to be affecting her. Well, not much, anyway. She'd been distinctly broody since they left the Leviathan (but they'd left it only several hours ago, so there wasn't much of a reliable time span to go by), so maybe she was about to suddenly turn evil on them?

So Juhani was in a bit of a muddle, and the person she normally turned to for help was the one who was causing her to be muddled in the first place.

What a fix.

Sitting on a crate in the cargo hold, she ran through the list of people in her head she could ask for advice from. Normally she'd go to Bastila, being a fellow Jedi who knew about the internal struggle between light and dark. But Bastila was gone, captured by Malak, so that ruled her out.

T3-M4? He beeped...and that was about it. Jolee was old and apparently wise, but Juhani knew he'd dropped out of the Jedi Order, formed an attachment with a woman (forbidden, forbidden, forbidden) and failed to kill said woman when she turned to the dark side. He probably wasn't the greatest role model.

Canderous? She didn't trust the Mandalorian. Zaalbar was too simplistic (although humility was a great asset in a Jedi). HK-47...no way.

Which left Mission and Carth, both of whom were so...good, for lack of a better word. No moral flaws. Set firmly on the right path. Stood up for what was right, were never deliberately mean or unkind... yes, they could be brash at times (and Carth had been terribly vindictive until a few hours ago when he killed Saul Karath), but they were both so fundamentally _good_.

So Juhani wandered off to go look for one or the other of them. She passed Canderous' door and found it hanging lopsidedly. Concerned, she peered in.

The Mandalorian was lounged on the bed. As she watched, he picked up a blaster lying next to him and lazily pointed it at her. "Get out of my room, _chakaar_, or will I have to blast your_ di'kutla shebs_ out."

"Charming." Juhani said flatly, withdrawing. She didn't understand what he was saying, but she knew insults when she heard them.

The next person she ran into was Jolee, who'd left the kitchen and was wandering down the hallway spooning gunk out of a mess tin and shoveling it into his mouth. Juhani glanced at him, smiled, then gestured at Canderous' room.

"The Mandalorian is in a bad mood. I wouldn't bother him."

"Hmmm." he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. "I'll take your word for it, heh."

"Do you know what a '_di'kutla shebs' _is?"

"Uhh...why don't you ask Revan." Jolee said, looking slightly embarrassed. Juhani frowned suspiciously. "I-"

They both froze and shuddered in unison, then looked at each other. They didn't need to say anything, they both knew they were thinking the same thing. _I sense a disturbance in the Force_. Cliched, but it described the feeling very well.

Some people just didn't bother concealing their feelings. Used to living in a Jedi enclave, where everyone was calm and rarely showed displays of emotion, Juhani had been almost overwhelmed when she first joined the Ebon Hawk crew. Zaalbar emitted a lot of raw pain that kept her awake at night, when Carth was upset or angry, it made her fur stand on edge, and even Bastila had moments when she disturbed the other Force-sensitive on board.

Now, Juhani and Jolee hurried to the source of the disturbance, just a few corridors away. Revan and Carth were glaring at one another, engaged in what seemed to be a shouting match.

"I didn't ASK to be Revan!"

"You ARE Revan! You were Revan all your life, you just don't remember it!"

"How do YOU know YOU haven't been someone else all your life and you just don't remember it?"

"That's stupid! All I'm saying it, I'm not going to completely trust someone who KILLED thousands of people, MURDERED my wife, fought against us in the war-"

"I didn't do all that!"

"Revan did all that. Aren't you Revan?"

"I get it! You pinned everything on Saul, but now he's dead, so you need someone else!" Revan was pale with anger. "Fine! If it makes you feel better, then blame me for every single thing that's ever gone wrong in your life! As long as YOU'RE happy, I guess it doesn't matter how I feel!"

And with that, she turned and stalked off, slamming the door to the room she shared with Mission. Juhani glanced at Jolee, who looked thoroughly miserable, but was still eating from his can. The Cathar sighed, walked up to Carth and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey! Don't sneak up on me." he said, turning to face her. "Uhh...you saw all that?"

"I saw enough." Juhani said.

"So how do you feel about it? And Jolee, you can stop hiding behind that wall." Carth glanced at the doorframe, and Jolee emerged from behind it.

"Young man, you cannot let that woman boss you around." Jolee pointed his spoon at Carth, waved it meaningfully, and continued eating. Juhani elbowed him. "You are not helping." she turned back to Carth. "Pardon?"

"How do you feel? About Revan being...well, Revan?"

"I am not entirely sure how I feel yet." she said carefully. "I need time to meditate upon it. I haven't had much time to think about it, considering all that's happened today. I think... it is possible that she has been redeemed. I have been lured in by the dark side myself, and I know what it is like. Revan, for all her temper issues, does not seem evil."

"Mm hm." Carth mused.

"Are you alright?" Juhani asked. "You haven't had the easiest of days... Saul, Bastila, Revan..."

"I'm fine."

Jolee seemed to get bored of standing there not saying anything, and wandered off. Juhani watched him vanish. "Carth, what is '_di'kutla shebs'_?"

"I believe it's Mando'a for 'moronic backside'." Carth said, raising his eyebrows. "Why?"

Juhani felt her face flushing. "No reason. But I would steer clear of the Mandalorian. He is in a bad mood." she wandered off to go meditate upon life.

* * *

Revan locked and bolted the door behind her, then slumped down against it. A sound made her look up, and she saw Mission sitting on the bed, shuffling her Pazaak cards, watching her with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" The Twi'lek asked. Revan nodded. "Yeah, it's just...Carth. And me. That is, me being Revan and Carth not liking that."

Mission got up and went to sit next to her. "I can understand where he's coming from. I mean... he trusted you, didn't he, and he hadn't trusted anyone for a long time. But now it turns out that you're someone he really can't trust, even if you don't remember it...see what I mean?"

Revan thought about it for a moment. "Uhh, no. I don't see what you mean."

Mission giggled. "Sorry. That must have sounded really confusing. I mean... he doesn't know if he can still trust you, and it worries him. Of course, he has no right to take out his anger issues on you."

"I didn't do anything to him!" Revan protested.

"You sold his blaster."

"Well...apart from that!" Revan said. "How do you feel about it, then? Me being Revan? You know Juhani blamed me for Taris. Do you?"

"Nooo..." Mission said slowly. "Taris was Malak's fault. Even if he was looking for you and Bastila... you didn't order Taris to be destroyed. And I think it's fine that you're Revan. I mean...you don't remember it, so who cares?"

"But I'm remembering it in flashes!" Revan said in some distress. "So what about when it all comes back? What then?"

"You're still the same person. I mean... you're not _evil_...even if you have a short temper, incredibly bad aim and a bad habit of selling peoples' stuff without asking." Mission grinned.

"Oi."

"Just stay away from my Pazaak cards." Mission said fiercely. "And Big Z's bowcaster."

Revan smiled briefly, then sobered. "So who's in the right then? Me or Carth?"

"Neither of you. But no one's in the wrong, either." Mission frowned slightly, looking confused. "Uhh... I mean... wait, what were you fighting about? You're in the wrong for the blaster thing, but Carth needs to accept that you can't help being Revan. I mean... you were _always_ Revan, now that you _know_ shouldn't make any difference."

"You're smart for a fourteen year old."

"Hey!" Mission protested. "I'm not a _kid_."

There was a moment of silence.

"Revan, I really don't know how to break this to you..." Mission said apologetically. "But your breath smells like bantha poodoo."

Revan stared at her, aghast, then snorted with laughter. Soon they were both sitting there laughing for no apparent reason.

"I have an idea." Revan said eventually. "I'll treat Carth how he treats me! Suspicious and doubting his every word! Then he'll know what I'm going through."

"Umm, if you say so." Mission said rather uncertainly, and privately thinking that it wasn't very likely to work. "And if it makes you feel better."

"Oh, it will." Revan grinned evilly.

* * *

They all gathered together for dinner and sat in a hostile silence. Canderous, Carth and Revan were undergoing a three-way death stare triangle, Zaalbar and Jolee were busy eating, and Juhani and Mission were staring at the three and wondering when they would stop fighting.

"So." Revan said eventually, taking a bite and still glaring. "Onto Korriban next. Tell me Carth, where will we land?"

"Dreshdae." Carth said. "It's a settlement near the Sith Academy. The Star Map should be somewhere near."

"Near the Sith Academy, eh? Can I trust that you're telling me the truth?" Revan asked suspiciously.

Carth gaped. "What?"

"How do I know you're not in league with Saul? What if this was _all an act_, and you're really in league with him?" Revan demanded, stabbing her fork down for emphasis.

"Revan, I killed him." Carth pointed out.

"Like I said...all an _act_!" Revan accused, leaning forward and narrowing her eyes.

Canderous chuckled as Carth stared across the table at Revan. "You're mad. I _hated_ Saul, and I killed him, and I am _not in league with him_."

"Yeah, just like I _hate_ Malak, I intend to kill him, and I _am not in league with him_." Revan shot back, then continued eating, smirking. "I don't trust you."

"Yeah? Well I don't trust you!" Carth said hotly.

"Fine. We just both won't trust each other."

"I never gave you any reason not to trust me!"

"And I never gave _you_ any reason not to trust _me_!"

"_You're Revan_!"

"_You're Carth_!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Carth spluttered. "Why would I lie to you about Dreshdae?"

"Who knows? Some sinister plot you're cooking up, no doubt." Revan said, finishing her food nad picking up her plate.

HK-47 looked up. "Query: Is the meatbag Carth a traitor? Have I permission to shoot him?"

Carth snorted. "I'd like to see you try, you bucket of bolts-"

"Temper, temper." Canderous chided. "I don't know what Revan's playing at, but it amuses me. And Republic's getting a taste of his own medicine. I'm off to bed now. By the way, I left some fresh stims on the table."

Jolee picked one up. "Heh...nice, these. Could you show me how to make them?"

"Not right now. Later, maybe." Canderous said, getting up and yawning. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me, for some random reason."

"No one needs you, Mandalorian." Juhani hissed.

"Everyone's mad at everyone tonight." Canderous commented.

"Ow." Jolee said as he pricked himself on the stim. "Heh. Sharp, this. Dangerous."

"Goodnight, all." Mission said, getting up and deciding to go to bed. "Zaalbar, don't shed fur in the freshers, okay?"

Zaalbar roared a protest.

Everyone went off to bed, Carth and Revan still glaring whenever they encountered each other.

* * *

Canderous was woken by a thump.

Grabbing his vibroblade with one hand and an adhesive grenade in the other, he opened his door and wandered out into the hallway.

There was a second thump.

It wasn't the Gizka – HK had wiped them out a few days ago. There was only one left, and it was locked in the cargo hold. A light switched on somewhere, and Canderous turned to see Carth coming out of his room.

"Did you hear something?" The pilot whispered. Canderous nodded and jerked a thumb at the main room, where the thumps were coming from. Clutching their weapons, the two men crept into the central room of the ship.

"YAH!" Canderous yelled, and flicked the light on in a highly dramatic manner.

They both stared.

Jolee Bindo looked up at them from where he was standing on the table, playing jump-rope with a long cable. His beard was disheveled. His bald head shone in the light. His eyes were wide and wild, and there was saliva around his mouth.

"Uhh, Jolee?" Carth asked. "What...are you doing?"

Jolee opened his mouth wide and squawked loudly.

"He looks like a mad man." Canderous commented. "Or about to turn into a rakghoul. Do we have any of the serum left?"

Jolee jumped off the table and held his arms up, running in circles like a crazy tach and crowing like a rooster. Every now and then he'd do a quick hop-skip-jump.

Revan and Mission came up behind them, looking sleepy. "What's going on?"

Canderous pointed. "Not sure what's wrong with him, but he's gone all wacko. Should we knock him out?"

"No! You're so mean." Mission cautiously approached. "Jolee? Come on, you old geezer. Snap out of it."

Jolee stuck his tongue out and wiggled it around. "Yah! Yah!" Then he pulled out his lightsaber and swung it at Mission, who jumped back, swearing. "Hey! Calm down!" she ran back to the others. "What's wrong with him?"

Canderous chuckled. "I'll deal with this." He stepped forward and bonked Jolee on the head hard with the flat of his vibroblade. The old man swayed and moaned.

"Canderous...!" Revan said warningly. "Don't do that-"

"_K'uur!_" Canderous hissed. "I know what I'm doing!" Jolee sprang forward suddenly, waving his lightsaber madly. Canderous leaped out of the way, and Jolee charged the three by the doorway. Carth pushed the girls back, Jolee swung his lightsaber, and Carth's dangling bits of hair were severed. They drifted to the floor in slow motion as everyone stared.

Canderous burst out laughing. _"Kandosii!_ I've been waiting for that to happen!"

"Yeah, it's hilarious!" Carth snapped. He peeled another two bits of hair down to replace the ones he'd lost. "Let's just calm Jolee down already."

"Let _me _handle this!" Revan jumped forward and thrust a hand at Jolee. He promptly collapsed. Canderous gaped. "What did you do to him?"

"Force-stun." Revan said smugly. "Works every time. You guys pick him up and put him on the table. We needa find out what's wrong with him."

Canderous grunted and laid Jolee on the table. "He seems fine physically. Maybe he fell out of bed and hit his head."

"I doubt it." Revan sat on the table next to Jolee and prodded him. "Dude. Dude."

"I am dignified." Jolee said solemnly, without opening his eyes.

"No, you're not!" Revan retorted. "You're a caveman! Well, a log-man! You live in a log!"

"It was a very refined log."

Carth and Mission glanced uncertainly at one another. Canderous snorted. "Old man, you just went all wacko. Not very dignified."

Jolee sat up and scratched his head. "I did?"

"Yeah!" Mission said. "And you, like, cut off Carth's hair-things..." she trailed off as Canderous released an uncharacteristic snort and covered his mouth. Jolee blinked. "Why would I do that? The last thing I remember is going to bed. Then I woke up here!" he glared suspiciously at the four in front of him.

"Hmphmeh." Carth muttered. "Can we all go back to sleep now?"

"No!" Revan yelled. "Not until we know what happened to Jolee! Perhaps...someone has DRUGGED him!" she glowered suspiciously at the pilot.

"Hey, just because you have issues doesn't mean you can blame me for everything." Carth snapped.

"I do not have issues! YOU have issues! Anger issues! Trust issues! You're paranoid about everything! And I am still firm in my decision that I will suspect you for everything!" Revan screeched.

"Ah, calm down." Jolee said worriedly, then added, "The vigor of youth."

"Oh, not this again." Mission sighed in exasperation. "Can't you two just shut up and get on with one another?"

Revan and Carth stared at her. Jolee chose that moment to burst into song. "_Caaaaan you feel the looooove toniiiiight..."_

"Hello." Juhani said, coming in. "What is all the commotion?" she glared at Canderous. Canderous glared at her. Carth and Revan glared at each other.

"Oh, this is stupid." Mission snapped. "Call me back when you've all decided to stop acting so childishly!" she marched out of the room.

Revan gaped. "That...that...she can't call us childish! She's only a child herself!"

"You are being very immature." Canderous grunted. "As a matter of fact, I'm sick of this nonsense as well. Carth, get over yourself. Revan, don't lower yourself to his level. Juhani, your accent annoys me and I loathe you as well. Jolee, I don't really care why you went all wacko."

"Actually, the reason I came in was because I found these discarded stims lying around." Juhani said, holding up a handful of used stims. "Who is the culprit?"

"Eheh. Heh heh heh." Jolee said somewhat nervously. "Uhh, those are mine. They make me feel young again."

"_Di'kut_." Canderous sighed. "You'll blow your adrenal system if you keep that up. Next time go to Revan or I if you want some."

"Tee hee." Jolee said lamely, and retired back to bed.

"So..." Revan said after the awkward silence had passed. "I guess...we go back to bed, and head on to Korriban."

"Oh, we're still going there?" Carth said sarcastically. "I thought I was lying about Dreshdae! Maybe Revan should fly the ship instead."

"She'll get us killed. She can't

even pilot the turret." Canderous pointed out.

"Oi! I am DARTH REVAN, DARK LORD OF THE SITH!" Revan bellowed. "Treat me with respect!"

"No! Padawan! Do not turn back to the dark side!" Juhani said desperately.

"See? See? If you keep hollering out that you're a dark lord, how do you expect me to trust you?" Carth said furiously. "If you're so adamant that you've turned back to the light, why do you keep calling yourself DARTH?"

"Uhh." Revan said lamely.

"Kiss and make up." Canderous suggested flatly. Everyone stared at him. The Mandalorian glared impassively back at them. "What? It was just a suggestion. I think I'll go back to bed now." he trotted off after Jolee.

"Are you two going as well?" Juhani asked. "We'll be too tired to do anything tomorrow if we don't get our sleep."

"I wasn't sleeping anyway." Revan muttered. "I was having dreams about Star Maps and fretting about Bastila. WAHHHH!"

"How could you be dreaming if you weren't sleeping?" Carth asked.

"Must you question my every action?" Revan shrieked. "I shall question YOUR every action! Why did you come out here? Why do you have such retarded hair? Why are you paranoid about everything?"

Juhani backed away and hurriedly left, muttering something. Revan and Carth continued to glare.

"This is getting tedious." Carth said finally. "And rather boring. So if you're quite finished glaring, I'm going back to bed."

"No, I'm not done yet!" Revan hissed, continuing to glare. Carth stood patiently. "Now are you done?"

"Neverrr!"

"Geez."

"WHY WON'T YOU JUST TRUST MEEEEEEEEE?" Revan bawled. "Okay, how about a deal? I'll trust you if you trust me! Does that sound fair?"

Carth face palmed and wondered how someone so childish had become the Dark Lord of the Sith. "Okay, how about: I'll trust you if you help me find my son on Korriban."

"I was gonna do that anyway, but okay!" Revan agreed. "Goodnight."

They both wandered off.

* * *

**TWO DAYS LATER**

* * *

"Are you looking for a fight?" Canderous growled at the obnoxious Sith students blocking their way in one of the corridors on Dreshdae. Lashowe tossed her hair. "These pathetic runts aren't worth the trouble! Maybe I'll let you go if you amuse me! Tell us a joke!"

"Hmm..." Revan thought a moment, then brightened. "Okay! I know a really good one!"

"Oh, for crying out loud..." Carth muttered. Canderous hefted his blaster. "Can't we just kill them?"

"No, there must be peace." Revan said sternly.

Lashowe tapped her foot. "You aren't very funny. What's the joke?"

"Well there were two Mandalorians in the wood and-"

"WHAT?" Canderous interrupted. "That's racist! Aren't Jedi meant to be politically correct?"

"How is it racist?" Revan demanded.

"A joke about Mandos? Don't tell me that isn't racist!"

"Hey, can't we just-"

"Stay out of this, Republic!"

"Stop calling me names! That's alliance-ist!"

Lashowe glanced at her friends and backed away from the bickering gang. "Whatever. Morons."

"That's it!" Canderous threw his arms up. "Don't expect me to save your butt in the turret next time!"

"I don't need your help! My aim is perfect! I AM THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH!" Revan hollered.

There was a moment of silence as everyone took in the stupidity of that statement.

"1. Your aim leaves much to be desired, Padawan." Juhani said flatly. "2. You are NO LONGER the Dark Lord of the Sith. Now hurry up and choose – are you a Jedi or a Sith?"

"...Jediii..." Revan said sourly. "But it's fun to declare my superior status!"

Carth's face as beginning to hurt from all the palming.

* * *

**YET AGAIN, TWO DAYS LATER**

* * *

"Incoming fighters!" Carth announced, as they made their way past the Star Forge. "Revan, get to the turret."

"Uhhh..."

"My aim is perfect! I AM THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH!" Mission mimicked.

"Hey, maybe Canderous should do this instead." Revan said uncertainly, sweat-dropping. "I'd hate to accidentally jeopardize the mission."

"Uh uh, _shabuir_. You're on your own this time, for that highly politically incorrect joke." Canderous growled.

"Hey! You didn't even hear the joke!" Revan protested, but slouched off to the turret.

Almost instantly, the ship tilted to the right and red lights flashed. Carth frantically hit some buttons and dials. "We're hit! This may be a rough landing..."

Everyone cringed as the lights flickered, the ship shook and they crashed down hard on the unknown planet beside the Star Forge.

There was a moment of silence as they gathered in the main room. Revan joined them, looking sheepish and rather green. "Hey, uh...how bad is the damage?"

"Well our stabilizers are gone." Carth said flatly, arms folded. "We're lucky we made it down in one piece. If we can't find the salvage to make repairs, I won't even be able to get the Ebon Hawk airborne again."

Moment of silence.

"That bad, huh?" Revan said finally. Everyone glared at her. "Hey! Why am I getting blamed?"

"Apart from the fact that this is entirely your fault," Juhani pointed out, "You're the Dark Lord of the Sith. Of course you'll get blamed."

* * *

**+ c o m p l e t i o n +**

**Yay! Oneshot. Reviews are greatly appreciated, as is constructive criticism!**

***chortles* I finally posted something after a long time away. Hooray.  
**


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